Online Personals Are Cool
By Emily Nussbaum
The musty print classified was never a great way to find a
date. Most of the time, all it ever offered was a terse mumble of data:
''SWF, 26, brown eyes and brown hair.'' The online personal is completely
different. The ''profile'' of someone looking for romance on a site like
Match.com or
Salon.com can overflow with
tantalizing information, as when a single woman named Lovebundlenyc reveals
that her favorite books include Hunter S. Thompson's ''Fear and Loathing in
Las Vegas,'' the ''Jeeves Omnibus'' and that children's story about
Ferdinand the Bull. Some people make strange, bold proclamations: ''I'm a
smooth operator with great hands.'' Others use verbal wit to play with the
conventions of the form: ''Unscrupulous Man Seeks Patsy,'' writes one online
lonely heart.
Americans have fallen hard for the online personal. While
other Internet businesses have been sputtering, online personals are a
full-throttle success. This year, Match.com subscriptions hit 653,000, and
the online-personals industry as a whole generated more than $53 million in
the first three months of this year. By the end of 2002, about 15 million
Americans will have visited a dating Web site.
The bigger this pool gets, the more normalized (and less
geeky) the process becomes. As with other online social behavior, early
adopters had to battle the scary hype: Pedophiles are out there! Liars,
creeps and dweebs! But when newlyweds on the Times weddings page casually
mention their ''magical'' first e-mail exchange, you know the switch has
flipped.
The popularity of online personals has tossed some
interesting behavioral mutations into the dating pool. Because potential
dates often engage in intimate e-mail before meeting, the first date is far
less blind. But the very ease and anonymity of the initial experience -- the
way you can browse at 2 a.m., zap a promising profile to a friend for
feedback or change your profile or photo at any time -- also encourages
social experimentation. This is a particular benefit for women, for whom
flirtation with strangers in the wee hours has always carried greater risk.
For both men and women, Internet dating may allow singles to make contact
with dates outside their social circles. Online glances go beyond the
crowded room of one's own insular demographic.
Pundits have denounced the game-like quality of pointing and
clicking at online profiles. And there's some truth to this: with the
eBay ease of Internet romance, it's
simple to continually dip back in, looking for an improved model. But then,
is it really such a crime to make dating more fun?
Source:
The New York Times
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